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Episode 103: Not Finding Yourself in Others


For most of my life, up until the last five years or so, I defined myself through the gaze of others (most often men.) I saw myself how they saw me: wife, mother, friend, medium. And when it seemed like they viewed me as enough, it felt good. But on the days that I didn’t get external validation, it was hard to know who I was or how to feel good about myself.

That’s the problem with defining yourself through the lens of someone else. You’ll never be the best at being anyone else for anyone else. The only thing you can truly be successful at is being amazingly unapologetically YOU.

My episode today is a reminder to do just that: embrace yourself for being the best you you can be, and not looking to find yourself through other people. It’s a message we all need, myself included.

What’s in this episode:

  • Why I strive to be the best Meredyth I can be, and how I don’t try to be anyone else

  • How Toni Morrison’s book “The Bluest Eye” made me rethink how I look at myself

  • How I used to define myself (mostly through the gaze of men)

  • Why you have to look to others, when your view of yourself is off

  • How to redefine the way you view yourself, and embrace being the best YOU

Resources mentioned:

Grab a copy of my new book!

Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye

Are you ready to go deeper? I am giving you the keys to the castle. If you enjoyed this podcast and want to hear more, make sure to subscribe so you’ll never miss an episode! You can connect more by visiting me on my website or connecting with me on Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube.

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