top of page

Episode 121: Internalizers and Externalizers


This is the latest episode in this series on emotional immaturity, and I recommend going back and listening to the first four episodes if you haven’t yet.

Do you know someone who blames everyone but themselves when something goes wrong? Or maybe you know someone who puts too much blame on themselves, taking responsibility for something that isn’t their fault. You likely relate to one of these descriptions, and if you’re listening to this podcast, I’m betting it’s the latter.

In today’s episode, I’m talking about externalizers (who blame others for everything) and internalizers (who put too much blame on themselves) as discussed in Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I’m sharing typical ways to recognize both emotional types as well how emotionally immature parents play into the equation.

What you’ll find in this episode:

  • Why externalizers struggle to deal with anything going on inside of them and blame the outside world for everything

  • How internalizers take everything on themselves and don’t ask for help

  • How to find balance of the two, and how under the right conditions, each type can exhibit characteristics of the other

  • My experience as an internalizer, and why I believe it’s so difficult for internalizers to seek intimate connection with externalizers

  • What it’s like for an internalizer to be raised by an externalizer parent

  • Why people see externalizing as a behavioral issue instead of an emotional one

Resources mentioned:

Episode #117: My Life Has Changed Forever

Episode #118: Traits of Emotionally Immature People

Episode #119: How Emotionally Immature Parents Show Up

Episode #120: Types of Emotionally Immature Parents

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Are you ready to go deeper? I am giving you the keys to the castle. If you enjoyed this podcast and want to hear more, make sure to subscribe so you’ll never miss an episode! You can connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok or Youtube.

bottom of page