Episode 65: Nice vs. Kind

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Being kind vs. being nice. What’s the difference, and why does it matter? I like to think of it as being fake vs. being genuine. In today’s culture, it’s common to value how other people perceive you more than being true to yourself. In this way, “being nice” suppresses your feelings, emotions, fears, and truth. You can be honest and forthcoming, while also being kind.


On today’s episode, my daughter, Skylar, is joining me, and we’re taking a deep dive into how people, white women especially, gaslight themselves for the sake of “being nice” and making someone else comfortable. When you’re “nice,” for the sake of not causing drama or not making a scene, you are shutting down parts of yourself to be nice in a situation that doesn’t deserve it.


There’s a sense of empowerment that comes with valuing honesty over appearing agreeable, over “not causing problems.” Don’t let a part of you die inside to allow others to treat you poorly. Practice owning your truth and putting it out into the world. You will communicate genuineness and attract it, too.


What’s in this episode:

  • Why value is most often found in accomplishments and what others think (hello, industrialized nation)

  • Meredyth’s personal experiences navigating nice vs. kind

  • How to translate kindness to your kids and others around you

  • How defaulting to “being nice” can put you in potentially dangerous situations

  • The importance of valuing yourself and speaking up for yourself above all else

  • Skylar’s experience with switching from nice to kind, and how it affected friendships and relationships

  • How your energy shifts when you do things because you are being true to yourself

  • How to confront someone with kindness (you can be honest without being aggressive)

  • Why we have to break through programming that stems from a patriarchal society


Links mentioned:

Episode 54: Abuse & Consent with Rosalia Rivera


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