Episode 67: The Lies We Tell About Love

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I’m never going to find the right person. All the good women are taken. All men suck. I’m never dating again. There’s no one decent on any dating apps. I’m just going to be alone forever.


Do any of these thoughts sound familiar? These are stories we tell ourselves. They are lies. But we believe them. And then … They become reality. Our brain is wired to look for things that support the stories we tell ourselves and then that’s all we can see. It happened to me once (twice, ten times), so that’s how it is. Don’t perpetuate this self-fulfilling prophecy.


In today’s episode, I’m chatting with my daughter, Skylar, about how we shortchange ourselves and others when we believe these lies as truths. What we’re really doing is holding ourselves back from the possibility of a healthy relationship. Instead you have to allow yourself the time to heal from any past relationship trauma (whether yours or someone else’s), understand that love has infinite possibility, figure out what you need from a relationship, put yourself out there, and own your shit.


What’s in this episode:

  • How childhood programming affects how we approach love

  • How to recognize this programming and reprogram it

  • The importance of taking time (to reflect, to get to know yourself again) after a relationship

  • Being vulnerable and aware of your thoughts and actions in a relationship

  • Taking ownership of your own actions (acknowledging and apologizing)

  • How triggers are proof that trauma still lives in your body

  • How emotional release work and EDMR can help with trauma and triggers

  • How to maintain healthiness once you're past the trauma (hint: communicate!)


Links mentioned:

Episode 12: Reframe Your Life


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